Texan. Whovian. Whedonite. Trekkie. 'Scaper. All-around geek.
In real life, I sometimes exchange words for money. Online, I sail many ships, and angst is my North Star.
Be warned: I write ficlets on gifs and I tag like it's the end of the world.
Burn, baby, burn.
Sidebar gif by tennantscookiejar
sherlock meme ✦ six characters [4/6]
↳ “i’m enjoying this!”
“I didn’t want to be a part of their club anyway.”
And then, even the King began to wonder…
#can i just say the story-telling in this episode was astronomical? #also lestrade #god the poor guy is just trying to solve some goddamn murders before other people get killed #so he saves this brilliant acerbic boy from pumping himself full of drugs and hires him on a few cases #and then before he knows it he’s started to rely on him even though he thought it would have been the other way around #but he’d taken it for granted that sherlock would always be there - and why would anyone question him? lestrade’s heart was set #sherlock holmes was a good man and one day he could be a great one #and just when maybe he’s got a foothold on becoming this great man everyone starts to doubt him #and lestrade probably hates himself for it but the doubt gets him too #but now - after the phone call - after hearing the definitive words from molly’s lips and seeing the haunted look of a war lost back on #john’s face it sinks in: this is real and sherlock holmes is dead #and now every time he closes his eyes he sees that boy he helped save who chose to help save others #and all he can think is that the last time they saw each other he was trying to arrest him #and he never got to say goodbye
THIS IS NOT
EVEN A LITTLE BIT OKAY
Greg Lestrade? I think you mean Greg LeSwag
LESTRADE IS A TUMBLR GPOY.
Homoerotic subtext IS Lestrade’s division.
- sarcasm
- commiserating “all of these people are idiots” glances at each other
- pastries
- lounging around with feet on the desk
- shit talking
- ass kicking
- buckets of homoerotic subtext
- strong, independent female characters
ALSO DI Lestrade and DI Carlisle’s division:
- Squabbling over who gets to drive every damn time they get in the car
- Coming to blows over the last donut
- Having their sidearms and badges confiscated for being loose-cannon coppers
- Grudging respect toward their no-nonsense female DCI
- Long bubble baths at the end of a tough day, sometimes separately but mostly together
#WE COULD WRITE A TELEPLAY AND SUBMIT IT TO THE BBC
#i would be totally useless to the process #unless french and/or extensive knowledge of premodern european and middle eastern history somehow was useful
RIGHT THEN. We can work around those constraints.
Episode One: Lestrade and Carlisle go undercover in a French Algerian antiques-smuggling ring. They do horrible accents as they try to fit in with their intended marks. Carlisle coldcocks Lestrade at one point because Lestrade snatches a chocolate-filled croissant from his hand. Lestrade retaliates by seducing the sexy French Algerian antiques dealer that Carlisle’s been working his magic on. The no-nonsense DCI rips them a new one for their pointless bickering. Plot point, plot point, plot point, they blow the smuggling ring wide open, then knock back a pint at the local pub and patch up their friendship.
End credits roll over a scene of Lestrade and Carlisle relaxing together in a bubble bath.
/FIN
oh my god, it totally is.
EPISODE 12: Zachary Quinto plays a visiting french canadian zoologist that both detectives want to bang. And also he wants to steal priceless, rare bats from the London Zoo. They’re pissed because this is really, really not their division. They stake out with donuts, witty banter, witty banter, but when it comes to that last donut all bets are off because that bitch is jelly filled. Their squabbling escalates and is about to be a fist fight when shit goes down and a zoo security guard gets shot and they are temporarily foiled. No-Nonsense DCI gives a lecture and throws their badges at them. They decide on a more direct approach and threesome the absolute hell out of the zoologist, plot, plot, zoologist steals the bats anyway and is half way to the airport when he’s ambushed. Unnecessarily invasive pat down and arrest his ass. BAM! Hot tubs have bubbles too.
WE COULD MAP OUT AN ENTIRE SEASON. And each episode gets increasingly outside of their division, until they’re solving penguin crimes in Antarctica. More potential guest stars: John Simm (in a special Life on Mars crossover episode), Jerry Orbach (idgaf, from beyond the grave), Gerard Depardieu, and Ludacris. At the end of each episode, Carlisle and Lestrade relax together in a different body of water while the credits roll: hot springs, Turkish baths, bubbling brook, kiddie pool …
at the end they retire and buy a springside house.
- sarcasm
- commiserating “all of these people are idiots” glances at each other
- pastries
- lounging around with feet on the desk
- shit talking
- ass kicking
- buckets of homoerotic subtext
- strong, independent female characters
ALSO DI Lestrade and DI Carlisle’s division:
- Squabbling over who gets to drive every damn time they get in the car
- Coming to blows over the last donut
- Having their sidearms and badges confiscated for being loose-cannon coppers
- Grudging respect toward their no-nonsense female DCI
- Long bubble baths at the end of a tough day, sometimes separately but mostly together
#WE COULD WRITE A TELEPLAY AND SUBMIT IT TO THE BBC
#i would be totally useless to the process #unless french and/or extensive knowledge of premodern european and middle eastern history somehow was useful
RIGHT THEN. We can work around those constraints.
Episode One: Lestrade and Carlisle go undercover in a French Algerian antiques-smuggling ring. They do horrible accents as they try to fit in with their intended marks. Carlisle coldcocks Lestrade at one point because Lestrade snatches a chocolate-filled croissant from his hand. Lestrade retaliates by seducing the sexy French Algerian antiques dealer that Carlisle’s been working his magic on. The no-nonsense DCI rips them a new one for their pointless bickering. Plot point, plot point, plot point, they blow the smuggling ring wide open, then knock back a pint at the local pub and patch up their friendship.
End credits roll over a scene of Lestrade and Carlisle relaxing together in a bubble bath.
/FIN
oh my god, it totally is.
EPISODE 12: Zachary Quinto plays a visiting french canadian zoologist that both detectives want to bang. And also he wants to steal priceless, rare bats from the London Zoo. They’re pissed because this is really, really not their division. They stake out with donuts, witty banter, witty banter, but when it comes to that last donut all bets are off because that bitch is jelly filled. Their squabbling escalates and is about to be a fist fight when shit goes down and a zoo security guard gets shot and they are temporarily foiled. No-Nonsense DCI gives a lecture and throws their badges at them. They decide on a more direct approach and threesome the absolute hell out of the zoologist, plot, plot, zoologist steals the bats anyway and is half way to the airport when he’s ambushed. Unnecessarily invasive pat down and arrest his ass. BAM! Hot tubs have bubbles too.
WE COULD MAP OUT AN ENTIRE SEASON. And each episode gets increasingly outside of their division, until they’re solving penguin crimes in Antarctica. More potential guest stars: John Simm (in a special Life on Mars crossover episode), Jerry Orbach (idgaf, from beyond the grave), Gerard Depardieu, and Ludacris. At the end of each episode, Carlisle and Lestrade relax together in a different body of water while the credits roll: hot springs, Turkish baths, bubbling brook, kiddie pool …
- sarcasm
- commiserating “all of these people are idiots” glances at each other
- pastries
- lounging around with feet on the desk
- shit talking
- ass kicking
- buckets of homoerotic subtext
- strong, independent female characters
ALSO DI Lestrade and DI Carlisle’s division:
- Squabbling over who gets to drive every damn time they get in the car
- Coming to blows over the last donut
- Having their sidearms and badges confiscated for being loose-cannon coppers
- Grudging respect toward their no-nonsense female DCI
- Long bubble baths at the end of a tough day, sometimes separately but mostly together
#WE COULD WRITE A TELEPLAY AND SUBMIT IT TO THE BBC
#i would be totally useless to the process #unless french and/or extensive knowledge of premodern european and middle eastern history somehow was useful
RIGHT THEN. We can work around those constraints.
Episode One: Lestrade and Carlisle go undercover in a French Algerian antiques-smuggling ring. They do horrible accents as they try to fit in with their intended marks. Carlisle coldcocks Lestrade at one point because Lestrade snatches a chocolate-filled croissant from his hand. Lestrade retaliates by seducing the sexy French Algerian antiques dealer that Carlisle’s been working his magic on. The no-nonsense DCI rips them a new one for their pointless bickering. Plot point, plot point, plot point, they blow the smuggling ring wide open, then knock back a pint at the local pub and patch up their friendship.
End credits roll over a scene of Lestrade and Carlisle relaxing together in a bubble bath.
/FIN
Getting my newfound love for Lestrade under control:
- sarcasm
- commiserating “all of these people are idiots” glances at each other
- pastries
- lounging around with feet on the desk
- shit talking
- ass kicking
- buckets of homoerotic subtext
- strong, independent female characters
ALSO DI Lestrade and DI Carlisle’s division:
