damespock:

gallifreyburning:

damespock:

 #This is the name of the new buddy cop show #With DI Lestrade and DI Peter Carlisle #As cranky and harried coppers who solve crimes#While eating all the pastries in the UK and being exceedingly exasperated with everyone they enounter #Including the victim of the crime

it doesn’t matter what the crime is, it’s not their division.

things that are their division 

• sarcasm
• commiserating “all of these people are idiots” glances at each other
• pastries
• lounging around with feet on the desk
• shit talking
• ass kicking
• buckets of homoerotic subtext
• strong, independent female characters

ALSO DI Lestrade and DI Carlisle’s division:

• Squabbling over who gets to drive every damn time they get in the car
• Coming to blows over the last donut
• Having their sidearms and badges confiscated for being loose-cannon coppers
• Grudging respect toward their no-nonsense female DCI
• Long bubble baths at the end of a tough day, sometimes separately but mostly together

#WE COULD WRITE A TELEPLAY AND SUBMIT IT TO THE BBC 

#i would be totally useless to the process #unless french and/or extensive knowledge of premodern european and middle eastern history somehow was useful

RIGHT THEN. We can work around those constraints.

Episode One: Lestrade and Carlisle go undercover in a French Algerian antiques-smuggling ring. They do horrible accents as they try to fit in with their intended marks. Carlisle coldcocks Lestrade at one point because Lestrade snatches a chocolate-filled croissant from his hand. Lestrade retaliates by seducing the sexy French Algerian antiques dealer that Carlisle’s been working his magic on. The no-nonsense DCI rips them a new one for their pointless bickering. Plot point, plot point, plot point, they blow the smuggling ring wide open, then knock back a pint at the local pub and patch up their friendship.

End credits roll over a scene of Lestrade and Carlisle relaxing together in a bubble bath. 

/FIN